1) We’re the reason the heroes can parade around the map with fancy “+20 to all stats”, “+ 60 damage” equips. We demand a better bounty on our heads. I don’t think it’d be too painful to increase the cost of items accordingly. A measly average of 50 gold on our death is nothing short of an insult to the contribution we make to the game.

2)As I mentioned before, we’re the reason a hero can afford anything above the start game ironwood branch stackfest. If that wasn’t enough, we’re forced to rush soviet style into towers. We dont honestly mind death due to creep-on-creep skirmish but a fight that we have no chance of winning is something we will NOT tolerate.

3)We’re aware that our existence on the map is short lived and we’re not meant to last the whole game but I’d appreciate it if we’d get some time to look around, fuck with the NC’s and shit. Our life is entirely too short and we want to live more of it.

4)Ultimates of some heroes like Shadow Fiend, Sand king, Tidehunter, Warlock etc often result in a massacre of our kind which is kind of sad. Sure, go ahead and spam all the AoE skills you want but at least maintain the sanctity of the map and spare us the wrath of the mindless battle that the heroes indulge in.

5)Lastly, we’re terribly underskilled for someone on whom the whole game depends on. We’re not asking for a 900 damage nuke , but a simple MS and AS bonus for the Melee creeps and a slow for the ranged ones would make lane battles for us a bit more challenging(much like the ‘ganks’ that we hear about every now and then).

We’ve been silent too long and we shall no longer suffer in silence. Expect a ful rebellion from our side if our demands are not met within the release of DOTA AllStars 6.67

No denying that Metallica left an indelible mark on music, they’d make a better impression if they just called the quits after the disaster of an album “Saint Anger”. Nobody can escape old age and thrash isnt something a bunch of pissed off daddies can pull off. After watching some of their recent concerts and experiencing classics like “one” getting butt raped by the VERY band that created them, I was nothing short of horror struck . To be honest , I actually liked “Death magnetic” for a few days. But after close introspection and 25 different listens, the sheer suckage that was packed in the album got to me.

If a 40 plus urban dad on the mike wasn’t creepy enough, the recycled riffs and time signatures made the album more repulsive to my ears, for example, “The day that never comes” was a poor attempt at recreting “Fade to black”. I feel that the album was a feeble attempt at recreating the whole “pissed off teenager who hates just about everything” image that lead them to where they are today. Overall, the only parameters that make me remember the album are repetitive riffs, grumpy vocals, TIRED drumming and solos that are capable of cracking glass.

All I want to say is, they’ve had your day, they’ve immortalized themselves, they’ve made a fan out of millions and have pioneered thrash, but I think I’d like it better if  they just retired and live off the legacy they created.

What REALLY pisses me off  are these pseudo "mourners" who till date had absolutely no qualms in associating the term child molestation with the superstar, but are suddenly "struck with grief over the death of a legend". These are the very same people who a few weeks ago scoffed at the idea of MJ even having a comeback tour.The bottomline to all this pointless ranting is, if you didnt give a fuck about MJ, just say “I’m sorry he died, hay he R.I.P” and shut the fuck up

Every gig I’ve been to, however large scale it may be, HAS to start well after the scheduled time. The time we got to the place, the only activity going on at that point of time was the soundcheck. As we watched the drum kit still being set up, we took the cue and exited the place. An hour of frantic phone calls  and randomly picking on  strangers and laughing, the gig showed some signs of life. The actual music started a good one and an half hour after our arrival.

Exasperated from the endless wait, we entered the small improvised arena with the amps blazing right next to our ears. The first band to play was something reminiscent of a lamb of god, mercyful fate and emperor orgy. The ear splitting cacophony continued for some time before finally ending our misery. The second band’s sound was abysmal, which prompted us to exit the main stage area towards the exit. Then begin our nefarious activities, at the end of which, everyone was largely indifferent to the noise around us.

The second attempt to try to make sense of the second band was also futile and we exited the stage for a second time to hit the bar. Here was where we relaised that the recession had got the better of us and we could cough up enough only for one glass of highly diluted vodka which had to be shared by three people.  The saving grace for the day was the random bumping into an old school friend, who practically spihoned a beer into my relatively empty tummy(I dont like drinking on an empty stomach).

The remainder of the gig was spent headbanging to decently covered ACDC tracks, laughing randomly at each other and prancing about aimlessly. I returned home with a T-shirt that stank heavily of tobacco, nice red puffy eyes, breath reeking of spirit and a creepy looking smile which I somehow could not ditch till an hour after I got home.

Handling people who vent on you is tactful, but not difficult. The most cliched method of listening and going ‘Yeah, whatever you said” isn’t effective at all times. Blowing your head off and effectively creating a battlefield isnt the solution either. Running away and going to sleep work well at times, but these tactics can get a bit risky if you cant distance yourself far enough from the…err..source. I say that the best solution is to bear it all, record it if necessary and show that person that footage the following day. I cant say I’ve tried it, but learning from other peoples mistakes is far less cumbersome than learning from your own XD.

If all of the above doesn’t work, fret not, you can always make awkward faces at that person the next time and make him/her/it feel like shit for the rest of the week. Venting back at them the next day is just as effective. Otherwise, get the fuck outta the room and have a nice and peaceful smoke, that should help you clear your head for the time being(The, “I hate smoking” brigade is gonna kill me for this but what the fuck?).

Watch this space for how to effectively vent at people.

Cheers
Anil Ganti